I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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