No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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