i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
