I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I checked into jail on foursquare
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Mom said you looked used
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
