hell yes lets make some ravioli
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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