dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's official drugs can't kill me
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
