i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
