their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
