I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize