were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
4 words: hood of his car
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
