You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
