at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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