Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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