i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize