Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize