fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
