the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
