I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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