I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
