he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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