I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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