I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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