Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize