I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
