When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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