ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
