this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
