i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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