My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
