do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
