If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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