If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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