i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
