dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You ate ashes out of my bong
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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