But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
