Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
