i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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