Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
