Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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