she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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