she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize