Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
