I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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