he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
