Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
