I'm going to jail i love you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
