tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
