The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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