I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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