i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
