Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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