put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
