So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize