I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
