I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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