I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
