OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
