I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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