She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
