I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize