Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
