We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
